Friday, August 22, 2014

My trip to my Majestic Vista






I left later than I had wanted to and I will try to tell you why, but there is really no reason. Maybe it was because I was tired, but I just putzed around the apartment, checking facebook and pretending to read the news. I finally decided at 11:30 that enough was enough and left through the front door, (there is no other door out of our apartment, and I wasn't about to use the window).
I packed the remainder of my camping supplies from my parents house and finally hit the road around 12:30. I had a full tank of gas and even made reservations at the campsite. There was no backing out now.
On my last adventure, with my friend, Anthony, I had neglected to make a reservation. This caused for a few stressful moments:
A dumb adolescent had told us there were no more campsites at the state park and sent us on a wild goose chase for an invisible campground to the east. I have to credit Anthony for keeping his cool, we had both thought about panicking or getting mad, but we didn't, that's why he makes a good travel buddy. We only found out after about 30 min of searching, that there were, indeed, campsites available at the state park. That took a lot of pressure off me for not making a reservation to begin with. Anyway, today I was alone, and when I made my reservation, the park ranger informed me I was the only one to make one that day. At least I had my pick of spots.
I was about an hour into the four hour drive when I started playing the pee game. The way this game works is I drink a 20 oz coffee and a few liters of water on a road trip, but I don't stop to pee until I absolutely have to, to save time. So I squeeze out all my farts and dance around and almost don't make it, then I curse myself for playing the game when it's all over.

So far, I haven't lost the game. Today it looks like I have though, an unfortunate incident with my 20 oz coffee left at least an ounce all over the crotch of my jeans, not only burning, but leaving a "pee-colored" stain. Despite appearances, I was still determined to play the game. My goal was to make it to the "Halifax" part of the trip. There was a great rest stop there, fast and easy. I knew, as I eyed my empty water bottle in the cup holder, that it was an unrealistic goal. You did this to me! I thought, still glaring at the empty bottle.
I was at the dancing-in-my-seat phase, about 6 miles from my goal and counting when I saw the statue of liberty. Not the real statue of liberty, just one someone decided to put in whatever river was on my left. I always thought it was pretty and if I could snatch a good picture of it, I'd call it a win for the pee game.
I quickly jerked the wheel off the exit and attempted to find a road that would get me close to the statue. My first attempt found only a dead end in someone's yard that had a sign reading "no trespassing." Damn. Around these parts it's a good idea to err on the side of caution with
those types of signs, central Pennsylvanians are not known for their support of gun-control.
I pulled a U-ey and started driving the other direction. My bladder hurt. It always hurts

more when you knew you were getting close to the rest stop. I pulled into a weird town seconds later. I was not any closer to the statue of liberty, but knew this was no time to start hiking! However, I was feeling antisocial and decided to ignore the pizza shop neighboring my parked car and instead decided to look for a cool foot path or at least a decent tree to pee on. I found a stairwell that took me under a bridge and to a dam. I figured I could find some privacy there. I was wrong.
There was an endless flow of cars driving by, interspersed just enough that I could not possibly fit the length of time I would need to pee. The sunflowers nearby hung their heads, as if to say, you can't even win the pee game! I
figured, screw it, I'd waited dam long enough and peed into the river while spectators travelled by.
That pee was the best part of the trip until then. When I turned around to go back to my car, everything seemed better. The giant sunflowers were now just taking naps till next summer.


The sun peaked through the clouds from above, I would live to fight with my bladder another day.  As I climbed into my car, I saw a dilapidated house, that reminded me of atime many years ago with friends when we would yell out "Dilapidated HOUSE!!",
every time we saw one along the highway. It occurred to me that the road is littered with memories, even in places I have never been to.
After climbing back into my car, I made the rest of the trip with no pee stops. I arrived at the park office a little later than I had wanted to, but the trail looked to be only three miles round trip according to the map. That would not take me long at all. The plan was to hike up, maybe write or make a little monument of leaves and rocks take a few pictures, hike back, grab some firewood, make dinner, then read or write until I passed out, (I was very tired.) My afternoon did not go according to plan.
Monster Hat
In the first place, I was in such an excited spontaneous mood, I just grabbed my monster hat
and an apple and took off, completely forgetting my satchel which held my notebook. So much for writing.
      I started walking leisurely on the trail. Well, it looked leisurely, but I was actually kind of scared. I hadn't been in the woods hiking a lone for a while... Actually, never. The fact that the whole campsite was empty made me a little more nervous. I probably wouldn't see anyone for the entire hike.
Even knowing I was alone, having a swagger helped me to LOOK 
confident so I hopefully, I would FEEL confident. Despite my best efforts, I was still nervous, it just made it BEARable...(gulp.)
     I did meet people on the hike.  First, it was a couple biking along, I passed them again later when they appeared to have a broken tire.  They kind of looked at me funny when I asked if they needed help.  It was probably the hat;  people are different in the forest, they might have been scared of me, I don't always look sane.  There were just so few people around they were probably confused by my context.  I don't blame them, I would be confused if I saw me too.
        I kept expecting to see them again, but they never passed me.  They were the last people I saw.  I almost made another wrong turn too.  I started heading to the right in a fork, I knew it was wrong this time though, it just felt wrong, and eventually I got myself on the right trail again. The thing about this trail that was supposed to be 3 miles round trip, is that it definitely was much longer than that, and it was getting dark rapidly.  The woods are even more scary at night.  Also, I had become wet, as the trail was flooded in one area and literally had a river running through it.  I tried to hop from dry spot to dry spot, but, inevitably, my feet found hidden puddles on their own.  I was hungry, cold and nervous;  worse, I had no one to tell all of my complaints too.
      The good news is that I found a sign that said the vista was not far off.  It was through a thicket of tall grass with wet tips, that further soaked my legs, and over a large deposit of beautiful rocks that I would have liked to spend some time talking with you on, but you weren't there, and I was in a rush.  When I found the vista, there was this boy and girl, maybe 13-16 years old, cuddled into a sleeping bag.  Probably just as disappointed to see me as I was to see them.  I have no idea what they were talking about, but I imagined their context, the boy was probably just about to have one of those experiences he could brag to his friends about if he could just gather the courage to make his move, and the girl probably had an inkling of the position she was putting herself in, but chose to be naive.  Maybe I'm giving her too much credit.  Anyway, I felt really awkward, so I explained to them that it was a vista named after me.  I wanted to hang out and enjoy it, but the air was thick.  I took out jiggly and posed him for a picture, I can only imagine what the couple was thinking as I set up the shot, and I took a picture of them in front of my Vista.  I really wanted to get a shot with jigs though, so I figured what the heck, it's not gonna get more awkward, and I asked the kid to take a picture with what probably appeared to be imaginary friends.   After the picture, I knew I needed to leave them alone, even though I really wanted to be there longer.  It took me one failed trip and one trip wrought with challenges to make it here, and it was MY vista.
 But, I figured, at least I know exactly where it is, and next time I'll leave early, and next time I'll bring you.  Vacations aren't really vacations unless I can share them with someone and remember them with someone in the future.  I'm just trying really hard to remember this for you, if you were there, I'm sure you could help me.   I probably misquoted all over the place and I bet I just made things up too, I mean, I went on this hike months and months ago, and I've just now put this thought on paper, how many holes does my memory have?
It was a brisk walk back to the car, at one point I nearly shat myself when a giant bird, (perhaps a pelican), took off from my nearby tree and shook the leaves above my head.  My heart raced again, but I was almost back at the car by then.  Much to my dismay, the general store was not open to buy firewood.  I went to the campsite and set up my tent in the full-moon light, struggling with my flashlight.  I could not make a campfire, so I made do with some granola bars and climbed into my tent to get warm and read.  It was lonely, I read for a long time, I guess I expected something to happen.  When I was warm enough, I went for a walk around the campsite, it was so dark even though the sky was so bright!  I realized that getting my "choice" of campsites was a blessing and a curse.  I soon was too scared to walk anymore, I was sweeping my flashlight around the forest, trying to catch every noise.  It wasn't peaceful.  I gain strengths when you are around, just one person gives me courage, maybe I just don't want to die alone?
I climbed into my sleeping bag and got some rest.  In the morning, I ate some fruit and more granola bars.  On the way home, I stopped at the college I attended.  That's when something happened, that's when I sat and reminisced and wrote as much of this story as I could down on paper.   I tried to think of a moral.  That everyone has their own context, that trips are better with company, but there is no real epiphany here, the trip was just a trip, I can't even tell you if I enjoyed myself.  I am glad that I found the vista though, and I definitely learned that the most harmless things are much more frightening when you are on your own.  

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